Little Big Things

Good Day Everyone,

Will Rogers had a way of getting to the heart of the matter (whatever matter he happened to be writing/talking about) with heart with fewer words than anyone I have run across. After this weekend’s rallies, I thought it might be fun to take a break and see what Mr. Rogers had to say 70 or 80 years ago that in all likelihood is still relevant today. The first quote seems to fit Mr. Walker to a T (I believe he is most definitely the third type of man referenced by Mr. Rogers):

“There are three kinds of men. The one that learns by reading. The few who learn by observation. The rest of them have to pee on the electric fence for themselves.”

“The worst thing that happens to you may be the best thing for you if you don’t let it get the best of you.”

“Don’t let yesterday use up too much of today.”

“There’s no trick to being a humorist when you have the whole government working for you.”

“An ignorant person is one who doesn’t know what you have just found out.”

“I belong to no organized party. I am a Democrat.”

“Nothing you can’t spell will ever work.”

“Always drink upstream from the herd. ”

“Never miss a good chance to shut up.”

“You know everybody is ignorant, only on different subjects.”

“A fool and his money are soon elected.”

“We are all here for a spell; get all the good laughs you can.”

“If Stupidity got us into this mess, then why can’t it get us out?”

“Even if you are on the right track, you’ll get run over if you just sit there.”

“If the world comes to an end, I want to be in Cincinnati. Everything comes there ten years later.”

“If you want to be successful, it’s just this simple. Know what you are doing. Love what you are doing. And believe in what you are doing.”

“People’s minds are changed through observation and not through argument.”

“So let’s be honest with ourselves and not take ourselves too serious, and never condemn the other fellow for doing what we are doing every day, only in a different way.”

“The fellow that can only see a week ahead is always the popular fellow, for he is looking with the crowd. But the one that can see years ahead, he has a telescope but he can’t make anybody believe that he has it.”

“Things ain’t what they used to be and never were.”

“Do the best you can, and don’t take life too serious.”

“You’ve got to go out on a limb sometimes because that’s where the fruit is.”

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I was working at home today when the phone rang. The number was from my son’s school so I picked it up not knowing exactly what to expect.

After all I recently received a call from the school’s Assistant Principal (AP) that went something like this:

AP: “Did you know that your son Tucker is planning to wear a pink gorilla suit to ski club tonight?”
Me: (Pause, and audible swallow) “…Actually yes I was aware of that fact.” (Note: I was the one who had purchased the gorilla suit for him as a gift for that specific purpose.)

AP: “Are you aware that a list is circulating among students as to who would be allowed to tackle the skiing pink gorilla?”
Me: “No, of course not.” (no hesitancy this time)

I suspected the list was an exaggeration but in the end we agreed that it would be a good idea if Tucker left the pink gorilla suit at home, which I was kind of hoping would happen anyway. Tucker found a different reason to wear the gorilla suit to school, and on this day he wore his hockey uniform with red practice jersey to school in support of the teachers (wear red for ed day). Tucker enjoys pushing the limits of the school’s dress code on occasion.

So when the phone rang and the number indicated it was coming from his school I looked at it contemplatively for a second before answering. To my relief the voice on the other end was not a Principal, Assistant Principal or school nurse but was instead Tucker who said, “Dad, is it o.k. with you if I walk out of school and go to the rally today at the Capitol to support our teachers?”

I paused a second before responding as I was doing the calculus in my head to try to figure out: a) if he really wanted to support the teachers or if he was looking to take advantage of an opportunity to miss school; b) how my 13 year old son thought he would be able to get downtown to attend the rally, and c) whether I was willing to drop my work plans for the day to help him attend said rally. Then I remembered the quote by Martin Luther King Jr., that I had recently shared with friends on MLK Jr. day that goes, ‎”The time is always right to do what is right.” Long story short, we ended up going to the rally together.

MLK Jr’s advice was spot on; it was the right time and the right thing to do. We had a great day together. I picked Tucker up at the school and was upfront with the attendance office for my reason for taking him from school. One teacher said, “We love your son”, and made reference to Tucker’s red hockey uniform attire. Another mouthed “Thank You” to us as she went about her business.

Full disclosure, I am a huge fan of teachers. The work they do is incredibly important, and I know many teachers who work tirelessly on nights and weekends and even over the summer and holidays to provide the best learning environment possible for their students. I also respect just how difficult their job can be. I can’t imagine managing full classrooms of adolescent, hormone popping kids all day every day as my kids’ teachers do. I have plenty to handle with my own two sons and their friends all of whom are for the most part great kids. Public schools are the last great melting pot and they contain a full spectrum of kids with various abilities, interests, backgrounds and challenges. Each teacher daily interacts with kids that include future business and civic leaders to future criminals and ne’er-do-wells. This makes for a very dynamic and challenging work environment, but one that gives the kids perhaps their only close-up glimpse of people who are different than themselves.

Tucker and I drove downtown and had lunch before making our way to the Capitol. Over lunch we talked about what the rally was about, the labor movement, how the government works, and how citizens can influence and participate in their government. We talked about both sides of the issue as objectively as we could. My son said, “So basically, this is about the teachers and state workers right to band together to negotiate for a livable salary and better working conditions.” Bingo! We talked about what could happen if these rights were taken away, and how the middle class was gradually disappearing in our society and why this probably wasn’t a good thing. We talked about families we knew who were teachers and state workers who live a good but not excessive life, and what it would mean to these families if their pay and benefits were drastically cut. My son is currently studying the civil rights movement at school so we were able to talk about how the civil rights rallies were similar/different from the one we were about to attend which helped bring his lessons to life.

We grabbed some signs and made our way up to the Capitol. The vibe was very tribal. You got the sense that people were coming together and that what we were watching was democracy in action. It was an interesting looking crowd with many different kinds of people represented. We decided to go into the capitol itself where the hearings were occurring on the Bill to strip public workers right to unionize and collectively bargain. The atmosphere in the Capitol was electric. The crowd seemed to have its own pulse. There was a lot of power represented in those thousands of demonstrators, and to be honest I was a little bit concerned of what could happen if the crowd turned ugly. Fortunately it didn’t. The crowd was loud and energetic, but nonetheless civil.

This is a difficult issue. Right now many state businesses are struggling and many private sector workers have lost their jobs or seen their benefits reduced and/or been asked to accept pay freezes or reductions.

Teachers and state workers do have relatively strong benefit packages, which makes them an easy target for politicians who don’t like collective bargaining or unions. However a recent industry analysis (http://epi.3cdn.net/9e237c56096a8e4904_rkm6b9hn1.pdf ) showed that the public sector’s total salary and benefits package is about 8.2%% below comparable private sector jobs. In the past public sector employees have accepted lower overall compensation than their private sector peers in exchange for stability. State workers have recently been willing to make concessions to help with the budget challenges and have accepted pay freezes and unpaid furlough days to help keep costs in check through a challenging budget environment.

I believe this conflict is the tip of the iceberg, and I am not sure we are well prepared to deal with it as a society. In 1979 the people in the top 20% of earners made 8 times as much as those in the bottom 20% and today they make over 15 times as much, and the income gap keeps getting larger. The middle class is eroding too with top 20% now making over 4 times as much as the middle 20%. So the rich are getting richer at a fast clip, the middle class is being squeezed out, and the poor are growing in ranks and are suffering and straining the limited resources available to help them.

Our domestic manufacturing jobs and support services jobs (think HR, IT, call centers, etc.) continue to be lost to cheaper overseas alternatives. When these jobs leave they are not being replaced with similar jobs, and people are either unemployed and on the brink of financial ruin, or need to work longer hours or have multiple jobs just to make ends meet.

I am worried for my children and the subsequent generations that come along if these trends continue. A disappearing middle class increases the odds that many people will have a difficult time finding a career where they are not constantly struggling to just get by. It  is also troubling because a society with an increasingly rich elite class combined with a ballooning poor class is one that is going to have significant troubles (crime, health, homelessness, political unrest, perhaps even revolution).

To me this bill is dangerous. By removing workers from the negotiating table it sets the stage for worker exploitation, and in particular a degrading of the quality of education our children receive. School districts have had their hands tied with finances for a long time and have already made deep cuts to services for our kids. If you take away collective bargaining the easy way to make the budgets balance will be to reduce pay and benefits for teachers. If they balk and leave the schools will replace them with a cheaper, less experienced alternative. If you move teaching jobs from middle to low wages more teachers will need to take second and third jobs at night and on weekends to make ends meet leaving them less time and energy for our kids. Fewer top college students will consider the teaching profession as a career as the quality of life associated with being a teacher will decline, meaning the quality of teachers and instruction will gradually decline as well.

Scott Walker is not a scholar. He dropped out of college after earning mediocre grades at Marquette. I don’t know if that is why he doesn’t appear to value education, or why he doesn’t understand the negative systemic effects that will likely result from his stripping public workers of pay, benefits, and a say in their working conditions. But it seems clear to me that he is willing to roll the dice and see what happens with our children’s future on the line which is unfortunate.

The silver lining to his assault on workers’ rights is that he is perhaps waking up the lion. The rallies at the Capitol have been energizing and encouraging. We still live in a democracy. Scott Walker has the right and the means to do what he is doing, but there are consequences to every action, the most obvious one being fall out in voting booth by legislators who decide to side with him.

There are many problems in our society but they are not insurmountable if we get informed and get involved. It is up to “We the People” to assure that our government reflects who we are, and what we value. I fully support the teachers and state workers in their efforts to protect their collective bargaining rights, and thank them for the hard work they do every day and the great example they are providing to us all on the workings and dysfunctions of our system of government.

Thanks for the reminder that in the words of Martin Luther King Jr., “The time is always right to do what is right.” It was refreshing to take a stand together with my son and those who support the rights of others and I look forward to continuing to fight for what is right to keep Wisconsin moving forward.

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Well another day and another six inches of snow, but today is different than those other snowy days.

From today forward for the foreseeable future ….or six months (whichever comes first) each day will have more light/sun than the previous one. We made it through the darkest day of the year, and from here it only gets better (or at least birghter). It isn’t hard to understand why people have long celebrated at this time of year.

I was curious to see if the January 1 new year was tied to the solstice and I don’t think it is. The origins actually came from Julius Ceasar who used a common calendar to establish roman authority and to get everyone on a single system. Ceasar named new consuls on the first of January making it a time of new beginnings. The absence of leap years caused the need for periodic corrections which caused confusion when they occurred. This was adressed by Pope Gregory XIII in 1582 when he grew frustrated with the scheduling of Easter and got the leap years on a schedule of one every four years. Eastern christian churches chose to follow the older Julian based calendar of Julius Ceasure in scheduling Easter and to this day only occasionally celebrate Easter on the same days as western based christian churches. Funny the things we just follow without thinking about where they came from.

In any case as our economy seems to be headed into dark days with no end in sight the winter solstice is a good reminder that this too shall pass, and brighter days are ahead.

On that note I have put together a few quotes on looking forward. I hope you enjoy them and I hope you enjoy this most festive time of year.

“If you break your neck, if you have nothing to eat, if your house is on fire, then you’ve got a problem. Everything else is inconvenience.” – Robert Fulghum

“For myself I am an optimist – it does not seem to be much use being anything else” – Winston Churchill

“I can’t change the direction of the wind, but I can adjust my sails to always reach my destination.” – Jimmy Dean

“Perhaps our eyes need to be washed by our tears once in a while, so that we can see Life with a clearer view again.” – Alex Tan

“When one door closes another door opens; but we so often look so long and so regretfully upon the closed door, that we do not see the ones which open for us.”
– ALEXANDER GRAHAM BELL:

“If you will call your troubles experiences, and remember that every experience develops some latent force within you, you will grow vigorous and happy, however adverse your circumstances may seem to be.” – John Heywood

“A pessimist sees the difficulty in every opportunity; an optimist sees the opportunity in every difficulty.” = Winston Churchill

“A pessimist is a man who thinks all women are bad. An optimist is one who hopes they are.”
– Chauncey Depew

“In the long run the pessimist may be proved right, but the optimist has a better time on the trip.”
– Daniel L. Reardon

“Finish each day and be done with it. You have done what you could. Some blunders and absurdities no doubt crept in, forget them as soon as you can. Tomorrow is a new day, you shall begin it well and serenely…” – Ralph Waldo Emerson

We’ve Holidays and happy days,
and memory days galore
And when we’ve toasted every one,
I offer just one more
So let us lift our glasses high,
and drink a silent toast
To the day, deep buried in each heart
that each one loves the most

“Here’s to the days of good will,
cold weather, and warm hearts.”

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I just finished an incredible book, Angle of Repose by Wallace Stegner. I won’t go into the plot details in case you want to read it, but one major theme of the book, forgiveness, is not obvious until it is revealed all at once at the book’s end.

It caught me by surprise, but in hindsight it shouldn’t have, because it is also a book about hardships, difficult circumstances and obstacles, delayed aspirations, friendships and families… basically the human condition. The protagonists of the story are all decent people, but we learn throughout the story that the human condition is fertile ground for misplaced pride and passions, conflicts and mistakes.

So what happens when decent people make mistakes that harm others? To me it seems they and the people who are harmed by them have a choice… live with resentment, anger, disappointment, guilt… or find a way to clear the slate, and move on in their pursuit of happiness and well being. Easier said than done, I am sure. We probably all have some first hand experience with this. I know I do.

The quotes below reveal that this issue of forgiveness was also front and center on the minds of some pretty historically significant and reflective people.

I think one of the single greatest acts in our nation’s history was Truman’s Marshall plan. This plan helped rebuild Germany and Japan to thrive after the war, rather than punishing them for their aggressions. The punitive approach to the vanquished was taken at the end of WWI, and that soon cultivated fertile ground for the emergence of Hitler in Germany.

Other positive examples of a spirit of forgiveness and empathy for your opposition leading to breakthroughs on a national level include: Nelson Mandela’s movement to end Apartheid; Ghandi’s leadership of India’s independence movement; Lincoln’s reconciliation with the south after the Civil War; Martin Luther King Jr.’s leadership in the Civil Right’s movement. In these instances, the aggrieved chose a positive path that made an appeal to people’s better nature instead one that sought vengeance. They subsequently succeeded where others had failed.

Of the quotes below I really like the first one… when you hold grudge against a person, it forces you to live in their world, and in essence carry their water. Emotions like anger, hatred, and fear dominate and preclude feelings of empathy and community. But there is a way to break free from that, and that path is forgiveness.

I also like the one by Ghandi, that forgiveness is an attribute of the strong. I think a key problem in the Middle East has been the power differential among the participating parties. I look at the new terrorist threats, and believe those participating in these acts must be doing so from a position of weakness, devoid of empathy or forgiveness. Hatred, anger, and a multitude of negative emotions are the only way I can comprehend someone stepping onto a plane with the intent of blowing up themselves and innocents. If their targets in turn hate them back, they only give them more fuel for and validate their beliefs. This war on terror won’t be won with hatred. Unfortunately hatred is the natural reaction to someone who kills indiscriminately.

So the difficult problem if you believe forgiveness is exclusively in the domain of the strong is how do you strengthen your enemies to the point of which they are capable of forgiveness and reconciliation? I think strength in this context is an interesting term. I don’t think it necessarily means from a political point of view, but is rather a state of mind. Strong-minded people have more control over their emotions and reactions when confronted with difficult situations. The weak have less control, and fewer options. To win the “war” on terror I think ultimately you are going to have to strengthen and win the minds of those affected. Martin Luther King, Jr. did that with the civil rights movement, so I believe it is possible. I think the best you can do if you are on the other side looking in, is to try to create the circumstances that would lead to the emergence of a Martin Luther King Jr. style leader. Again that doesn’t happen overnight either.

But this topic is also relevant to individuals. I know people who have come from very difficult circumstances and have thrived despite many obstacles. By thriving I don’t necessarily mean financial gain or societal status, but rather I mean they are decent people who contribute more than they take from those around them. Could they have done that half as effectively if they carried around the burdens of the unforgiven? I don’t think so. That is a burden they couldn’t afford. I have seen others who try to live with that burden, and there are almost always worse off for it.

An example of a person who has thrived despite difficult circumstances is the Dalai Lama. It is hard to think of too many individuals who would have a larger ax to grind than he does. He was forced into exile from his native Tibet by the Chinese government. Many of his followers, who remained loyal to him in Tibet, were imprisoned, tortured, brainwashed, banished, murdered and/or relocated. It would be very easy for him to succumb to hate in these circumstances. But he hasn’t. He isn’t abdicating the problem, and saying everything is o.k. either, because clearly it isn’t. But he treats his “enemies” with empathy and compassion, and he has done a great deal to improve the human condition in his work and life. This wouldn’t have been possible if he pursued an agenda of revenge, or hate. I think his course of action is also likely much more effective in the long run. Tibet has very little geopolitical clout in a fight against China. They would lose and lose quickly in a conventional battle. But they are instead fighting for the hearts and minds of the Chinese, and I think they will eventually succeed.

That said, I think an ongoing problem is in how to react to those that not only have done you harm, but continue to do you harm? Clearly you have an obligation to try to stop the damage, and minimize the suffering they cause. But can you do this while forgiving the human frailties behind their transgressions? That is what takes strength. The world needs more leaders with the strength to oppose and resist without hating.

Anyway, here are a few quotes on the topic of forgiveness:

“When you hold resentment toward another, you are bound to that person or condition by an emotional link that is stronger than steel. Forgiveness is the only way to dissolve that link and get free.”- Catherine Ponder quotes

“To forgive is to set a prisoner free and discover that the prisoner was you.”- Lewis B. Smedes quotes

We read that we ought to forgive our enemies; but we do not read that we ought to forgive our friends. -Sir Francis Bacon:

“The weak can never forgive. Forgiveness is the attribute of the strong.”- Mahatma Gandhi quotes

“When a deep injury is done us, we never recover until we forgive” – Alan Paton quotes

“Forgiveness does not change the past, but it does enlarge the future.” – Paul Boese quotes

“Let us forgive each other – only then will we live in peace” – Leo Nikolaevich Tolstoy quotes

“Without forgiveness, there’s no future” – Desmond Tutu quotes

“Forgiveness is the economy of the heart… forgiveness saves the expense of anger, the cost of hatred, the waste of spirits.” – Hannah Moore quotes

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“Each person who ever was or is or will be has a song. It isn’t a song that anybody else wrote. It has its own melody, it has its own words. Very few people get to sing their song. Most of us fear that we cannot do it justice with our voices, or that our words are too foolish or too honest, or too odd. So people live their song instead.”
— Neil Gaiman

What’s Your Song? I recently read the book Anansi Boys by Neil Gaiman, which is about the son of the ancient God Anansi who is the keeper of all stories. Being the guardian of all stories makes for some interesting insights into the nature of people.

In this book Gaiman observes that each person has their own song to sing (see above quote), and that for most the song is quite simple. I think this is an interesting perspective on people, and to me it rings true.

I would guess that my song would be about looking for answers, not finding them, but having fun along the way. Maybe another verse would be about wanting to make people happy, or at least trying to do that.

Although many of us hold our songs to ourselves if you are around someone long enough, and are observant, you might be able to at least hum their tune. Donna Roberts observes that, “A friend is someone who knows the song in your heart, and can sing it back to you when you have forgotten the words.” This is probably the most valuable thing a friend can do…help you find your way back to your song when you wander from it. I know Pam helps me do that from time to time.

With that in mind here are a few thoughts on the songs of the people who are closest to me:

My wife Pam’s song might be about the joys of herding rabbits and getting them to a better place; setting up pins and knocking them down, and retreating to her den at night with her own rabbits to recharge for the next day on the range.

My oldest son’s song to me seems to be about making new rhythms in life and dancing to the beat of his own drum. He may favor the rock genre in his music, but he has the improvisational ability of a Jazz musician in his life.

My youngest son’s song (I think) is about making people smile, hanging with friends, and taking it all in, a very pleasant song indeed.

These are all good songs, and I am sure there are nuances to their songs that I am not aware of, but those are the melodies that I am hearing when I am around them.

Our songs likely evolve/change as we grow in years, but I would guess the melody is still recognizable to most of us. It seems to me that the key to a happy life may be in knowing what your song is and in living in such a way that your life and your song are harmonious.

Here is wishing you luck in finding, living, and singing your own song! (Hint: A good place to try to find it is in the shower!).

If you are so inspired feel free to post what you think your song is in the comments section.

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There is a group of guys that I call the “Verona Boys” who I have heard a lot of stories about over the years… stories that involve such things as motorcycles, cars, women, guns, cops, the shooting and eating of various animals (including squirrels), gambling, drinking, etc. The source of these stories is my good friend Bill who I know from a different circle of friends.

So when I got invited to go along with Bill and his Verona crew on a road trip to a Badger Football game at Purdue I jumped at the chance to see firsthand how much of what I had been told was true. I figured if one in five of the stories I had heard over the years were accurate then I was in for one heck of weekend.

And I wasn’t disappointed.

Since I assumed the others all drove El Caminos with gun racks and caked on deer blood in their cargo beds I volunteered to drive the Madison/Verona contingent in our vehicle which seats up to eight. So Friday afternoon I cleaned out the family minivan and headed out to rural Wisconsin to pick up the first passengers.

I imagined I would be driving up to farmsteads with old trucks/tractors hidden in plain sight behind tall grass, so I was a bit surprised when the first two stops were at custom built high-end homes with expansive views of the hilly countryside. We met the next two participants at a business near the interstate and we drove from there down to Chicago to meet the others who were already en route.

What we did for entertainment on the drive was similar to what my two teenage sons do when they get in a car with their friends. We hooked up smart phones to the car’s a/v system and played funny youtube videos which in turn led to some funny stories. A little later when the conversation slowed down a bit, I threw in a DVD of Will Ferrell’s movie Anchorman and we all enjoyed a few hard laughs at the non-pc portrayal of men’s life in the 1970s. About the time the movie ended we arrived in Chicago.

We played pool and drank beer at an Irish Bar in Chicago before heading out for a steak dinner at the Capitol Grill. The restaurant was crowded and I wasn’t optimistic about our chances of getting in without a reservation, but one of our group talked to the maitre de and gave him “the republican handshake” to ease any concerns about our relatively gruff appearances. It worked and we got in and had a great meal complete with $20 sides of green beans and what we all agreed were some of the best steaks we had ever had.

Now that I brought politics up with the Republican handshake bit, I should probably mention that many/most of these “Verona Boys” are renowned to be somewhere to the right of Ghengis Khan in their political views. I heard several references to over-funded school districts that somehow don’t have enough money for sports programs, crazy high taxes, etc… on the way down and I chose to bite my progressive tongue at least until I knew them a little better. The person who invited me along on this trip was what I sometimes describe as my “republican friend” Bill. Over the years we have argued back and forth about politics, but Bill is always respectful and makes reasoned arguments and I very much enjoy and benefit from talking with him about issues of the day. I actually found his friends to be about the same. Their politics were clearly different than mine, but the few times we talked politics things didn’t get out of hand and we were all pretty much content to live and let live. Before long we moved on to other topics.

This was actually a part of the trip that I enjoyed the most. Over the course of the weekend a few other myths were also busted. First off the Verona Boys aren’t rural hicks or rednecks. There are all accomplished professionals in their respective fields, but to a person they were modest and never boastful about their day jobs.

Politics and the media around politics (I hesitate to use the word journalism) seem more poisonous these days than at any time I can remember. This trip reminded me that people who belong to and/or vote for candidates of particular political parties are not the same as the media associated with their respective parties.

The Verona boys come from the heartland, their parents worked hard and they work hard too. They don’t expect or want a lot from government and they don’t want to pay for programs that they think are unnecessary or ineffective. I can appreciate their perspective, but see many things a bit differently. But when we can talk about our differences rationally, we have the potential to increase our understanding and find solutions that work better for each of us. I believe that type of discourse is underrepresented in the political spectrum of today and that is a shame.

Anyway, back to the story. We returned to the Irish Bar, played some more pool, and took in the atmosphere (think slightly above Chicago dive bar – e.g. they had big cans of Schlitz beer on special but also had 20 kinds of vodka on display).

There was a couple at the bar that caught our attention and we were thinking one of them “has got to be a pro” (which in this case I believe was accurate) and they provided some unintended entertainment for our group. We smartly turned in early so we would be ready to hit the road by 7 a.m. the next day and drive to Lafayette, Indiana in time for the Purdue Football game which started at noon.

A short drive, another guy movie (this time “The Hangover”) and we arrived on Purdue’s campus. We were all wearing our Badger Red that set us apart from the Purdue crowd and earned us some good-natured ribbing. The locals were friendly which may have had something to do with a tradition at Purdue called the “Breakfast Club” whose motto goes something like, “It’s not drinking All Day unless you start in the morning.” Breakfast Club participants wear costumes to every home game and get up at 5 a.m. to start drinking. It might sound a little extreme until you see the Purdue football team which isn’t having a very good season., so getting up at 5 a.m. and drinking probably makes the games more enjoyable for the locals. Then again, I doubt too many of the breakfast club participants were still awake for or actually attended the game.

The game was fun. Purdue kept it close in the first half, before the Badgers made it a blow out in the second, which is how all road games should be scripted. It gives the locals something good to talk about, and makes it so they aren’t ticked off at the opposing fans.

After the game we took in more local color at a few places near the stadium before settling into our deluxe accommodations at the Red Roof Inn. We picked up some beverages, cards, and poker chips on the way back to the hotel, ate a restaurant with the words “Roadhouse” in it’s name where you can throw peanut shells on the floor (what more could you ask for?) , and then played some parking lot football (that lasted as long as our 40 something shoulders did which wasn’t very long) before embarking on a night of card playing, drinking, storytelling, etc.

The final highlight of the trip was looking for, and after significant effort finding, one of the guys wedding ring in the parking lot that flew off his finger while playing one last round of catch. There was lot’s of joking/commentary by the other Red Roof Inn guests who were heading out at the same time when they saw eight guys combing the parking lot for a wedding ring. Five short hours later we reverse the order of pick-up for the drop-off and this weekend is in the books. It was a fun weekend, one that busted a few myths and reinforced a few others about the boys from Verona, a great bunch of guys who still know how to have a good time, but who have grown up just enough in the last 25 years to keep things mostly respectable (and that is a good thing).

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Happy First day of Spring or as I like to call it Vernal Equinox day (actually I didn’t know what Vernal Equinox was until I helped my son with his science homework last night).

In celebration of Spring I thought I would take advantage of the warm weather we have been having (up until today that is) and go for a jog on a nearby nature trail over lunch. So this morning I packed my gym bag with clothes, shoes and a towel and off I went.

So 11:30 a.m. comes around and I grab my bag and head to the downstairs changing room/shower. So far so good…I will spare you the details but after a few moments that would make Clark Kent blush, I am out the door… brrr… so much for spring in Wisconsin.

Next I get in my car (I bet you thought I was actually going to jog)… and drive the short mile down to a private school’s entrance to the nature trail. I check my car’s outdoor thermometer and it says 33 degrees! Ughhh…

I optimistically packed shorts and a light top… no hat no gloves… so I ransack the car and find one of my kids facemasks (dare I put that on…knowing where it has been) and gloves. I squeeze into these because as we all know the only valid criteria for wardrobe selection in Wisconsin is how warm it is and NOT how it looks. I get out of my car, lock it and am starting to try to find a place to hide the key when… Fitchburg’s finest come rolling by in their police cruiser…

I am feeling like a burglar in my none-too-fashionable garb and facemask, and immediately drop into a calf-stretch lean to communicate visually that I am not planning an assault on the nearby school, but am rather going for a jog. It works… he keeps driving by… whew!

So off I go on the trail… which is beautiful by the way… even on a gray Wisconsin early spring day. I think I am doing pretty well, until a young lady (younger than me at least) swiftly passes me with her dog in tow. The dog looks like it is barely walking and gives me a condescending smirk, which doesn’t inspire confidence in my early season jogging form. Next I hear a creak, creak, and watch an elderly gentleman with a stroller cruising by… next I look down and see the first turtle of spring.. (or “pace turtle” as I like to call him).. and he passes me…

O.k. I exaggerate…a little, but that dog did smirk at me, and I am breaking no land-speed records that’s for sure. Anyway 15 minutes out… and about the same back and I am done, and heading back to the office for a hot shower!

I get in the shower room, lock the door and take stock of my surroundings. I realize belatedly that I did not bring soap and there is none in the shower, so I ask myself… do I dare dash to the soap dispenser at the sinks… all the time imagining one of our board members coming for a visit and using the restroom as I streak back into the showers with my soap. I won’t reveal my solution, but suffice it to say I am as clean as Irish Spring don’t you know.

The showers are zero barrier, and there are fold out seats outside and inside of the showers, so they are good from an ADA point of view which is nice… but the shower curtains don’t extend all the way to the floor, which is not so nice. So I budgeted half my towel for drying off and the other half for mopping up the floor. Now if I can only get the order right (self then floor instead of floor then self) I would be all set.

Bottom line. It is great to have access to a shower, and the nearby trails are a real bonus for going for a very pleasant walk/jog over lunch. If you happen to see a strange looking, slow moving man with a too small face mask, being passed by a turtle… don’t panic, but rather just say “Hey John, Happy Vernal Equinox Day!”

Happy Friday and First Day of Spring Everyone!

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It is the strange the way two worlds can intersect in a small but pleasant way. I had just such an experience the other day when I bought an acoustic/electric guitar for my sons from a musician whose world would likely never otherwise have intersected with mine.

On the surface we don’t appear to have much in common. He lives in a rural town and I live near the city. He drives a Chevy S10 pick-up truck with “God Bless America” and “Support our Troops” bumper stickers on the tailgate, and I drive a Honda Odyssey Minivan with a “Honk if you have Poor Impulse Control” bumper sticker (actually Pam wouldn’t let me put it on the van so it is on my ski helmet instead, but it is there in spirit). He is 70 and I aspire to be 70 some day.

But a few days ago we found some common ground when he sold me his Yamaha Compass Acoustic/Electric Guitar. I first saw his advertisement on Craigslist on Tuesday night, and knew that the guitar would sell quickly as it was a nice guitar that was reasonably priced. So I sent him a quick e-mail saying I would like to purchase his guitar for my two sons, and told him a little bit about their musical interests and activities. I got an e-mail back from him a short while later saying he had multiple inquiries/offers but that he would like to sell his guitar to me for my sons use and could I call him in the morning.

I called him and we had a nice talk about music and his professional playing days (a highlight of which was being the opening act for George Strait a number of years ago), and we arranged for me to come and pick up the guitar a short while later.  We also talked about Jake & Tucker’s band and the style of music they played.

I was really enjoying talking with him, and was grateful that he picked us to sell his guitar to, so I wrote him a brief thank you note and brought a copy of my kids recent CD with me. When I got there he took me into his music room to play a bit on the instrument to show me that it was in working order, and he also showed me a few of his many other guitars. He told me he would keep my e-mail address and let me know if he has any other guitars for sale in the future. I think he has a sneaky suspicion that this won’t be the last guitar my boys purchase and he is probably right.

He sent me a nice e-mail after I got back home saying that he enjoyed our meeting and that he was happy to pass his guitar on to our two boys.

In some ways selling a guitar is like passing a baton on to others. Instruments are like that. There is a lot of life left in them after someone sets them down. That said this gentlemen wasn’t nearly done playing, he was just thinning his herd of instruments a bit at the urging of his wife who was probably a bit jealous of all of his “other women (aka guitars)” who were vying for his attention. Either that or she just had other ideas for how to use the space.

We have exchanged a few e-mails since, and I think we are both the better for it. That’s it. Not a big story, but a nice reminder that you never know what is around the next corner. It just might make your day.

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“Ba ba da da
Ba ba da da
Ba ba da da
Ba ba da da
Ba ba da da”

“Take a look at my girlfriend
She’s the only one I got (ba ba da da)
Not much of a girlfriend
I never seem to get a lot (ba ba da da, ba ba da da)”

The above lyrics are from the band Gym Class Heroes song “Cupid’s chokehold” which samples heavily from Supertramp’s hit song “Take a look at my girlfriend.”

The song updates and, in my opinion, improves upon the original to describe one person’s quest for love and the signals he interprets to determine whether he may have found it. Signals such as…

“I mean she even cooks me pancakes
And Alka Seltzer when my tummy aches
If that ain’t love then I don’t know what love is”

O.k. it isn’t/ain’t Shakespeare, but it is a fun song that reminds you of the roller coaster ride of being young, bewildered, and uncommitted.

What made the experience of hearing these lyrics even more fun was the fact that our two teen-age boys and a group of their friends were spontaneously singing them and playing guitar to entertain each other and a couple of girls who were with them.

The setting was a get together/barbeque at a friend’s house after the boys’ band, Social Misfits, had participated in an outdoor concert in a nearby park with three other acts from our neighborhood. The boys were relaxing and having a good time together, alternatively yelling out songs to sing/play next and playing them.

It was one of those somewhat rare times that you look at your kids and think; they are going to be just fine. As opposed to the more frequent occurrences when you look at them and wonder if what you are doing is helping at all or alternatively have no idea what the right thing to do even is.

But this was a time to just sit back and enjoy. One of my favorite literary scenes is from Wendell Berry’s book Jayber Crow, where a group of musicians get in the habit of hanging out and playing with/for each other in the local barber shop at the end of the work day. This was a lot like I imagined that to be, only better because I didn’t have to imagine anything, I just got to soak it all in.

I know there will be many ups and downs in my kids lives, as there have been and will continue to be in mine, yours and everyone else’s; but at the same time the advice that Kurt Vonnegut passed on from his Uncle Alex in his book Man Without a Country comes to mind…”I urge you to please notice when you are happy, and exclaim or murmur or think at some point, ‘If this isn’t nice, I don’t know what is.'”

Well… If this isn’t nice, I don’t know what is.

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